Friday, 6 November 2015

Crazies Everywhere

I’d never been trolled before, I'm still not sure if that’s what this is. The following is a conversation initiated, on Facebook, by someone called Sorin Christea claiming that I play illegally downloaded music on my radio show. I don’t, but I wasn’t going to get involved in boring facts. Once I realised Sorin’s connection to a former presenter at Belter Radio, John O’Donnell, I began to realise what was going on.
The background to that is that John had a dispute with the station owners and left. He then tried to start an internet witch hunt against another former presenter whom he had mistakenly identified as the person who told him, in the radio station chat room, that his show was shite. I called him out over this which he obviously didn’t like. He was proven wrong by the station owners by simply checking IP addresses. John is also a musician who, I recall, accused another singer of stealing his songs. I’ve heard one, no one would steal it.
Enter Sorin, ill advisedly trying to mix things up a bit for his friend.
I use the term friend in the loosest sense, as they are quite obviously the same person.
He let his "cover" slip when I started quoting him dialogue from Head, the film by The Monkees. MI5 might want to look into this technique. Things took a sinister twist there, as you'll see.

I had a bit of time on my hands so I started quoting lyrics of songs, lines from tv shows and generally acting like an inmate of Carstairs. I really enjoyed myself if I’m honest.
There’s a bit of blocking action happening with Sorin, so if someone could look him up and tell him I’m asking for him, that would be "my favourite". His pal John is here
He’s not blocked me. Yet.
This is not an internet witch hunt and I refer you to rule 7, section c of the petty argument rule book – he started it.

Sorin's comments are in bold

You and Sorin Christea aren't connected on Facebook
Secretary at EUROAVIA - The European Association of Aerospace Students
Lives in Constanta, Romania
Thurs 15:27

stop playing music download from music chanel. performers deserve to get paid. you work on Belter Radio. Dog's Got a Bone.

What music is stolen?
Thurs 19:17

some of music you play
if music is down illegal it is stolen
Thurs 21:45
I'm fully aware of the law regarding copyright. I run a record company and play in a band. If you can give me some examples of stolen music i've played, that would help. If not, take your trolling pish elsewhere.

so it is trolling pish
Thought so

we have evidence that the manager of Belter Radio sent Youtube downloads to a host to play on show
Take it up with Belter then

all hosts shows will be monitored
we received a report we will take action
Tuck in mate, i could do with the extra listeners

we will be monitoring for evidence nothing else
Nah, you'll listen to my show, the music is so good
which record company do you own
It should'nt be too hard to find out for an internet detective

now you change my profess from troll to internet detective
I don't really give a fuck who or what you are

that is not very profess of you to use the F word
nor you to spell professional wrong

im from Bucharst so English is not my first language
I'm from Barcelona

will we communicate in Romanian
is that a rhetorical question?

sori I don't understand
As much as i'm enjoying this riveting blether, I'm going to bid you goodnight. Thanks for looking me up and remember to tune in to the show. I don't do requests though.

for your information 6 songs were aired between the hours of 20.00 Hrs and 22.00 Hrs
that broke copyright laws
I forgot to say my show is 22.00 - 00.00. Tune in.
every monday

not now because this show is also monitored
not need we have the schedule and the host names
Are you James Bond?
I love James Bond
Roger Moore, he's my favey
Do you like Roger?
Or are you more of David Niven fan?
I liked him in the coffee adverts, they were great
I got a new jacket today
it has lots of pockets
a blue one
and a hood
i need some matching gloves now
and a hat
with a bobble
my old one smells a bit
of fish
not salmony
i'm hungry now

go eat
i like toast, i'll have that
do you like toast
i like it cos its toasty
and a bit brown
unless its burnt
but i like it burnt
the crumbs will get on my new coat

are you sure you play in band
i hope they dont stain
do crumbs stain?
maybe some crumbs do
depends whats on the toast
i like toast

because you will never make comedy world
do you like toast
the song
with paul young
no the fishing guy
the other one
lays his hat one

whatever you do do not download any more music illegal
a little bit of toast
that one
great song
i might cover it
can you ask paul young if i can cover it?

have you the illegal download
do you know him?
i have the record

I hope you are better at singing than jojjes
its my favourite
whats a jojjes

do you put it on toast?
i dont know any jokes, not like that real comedian, tom o conner
he's my favourite

persons that resort to spell mistakes are defeated
i like him as much as i like toast
the food
no the band
they're my favourite
i'm hungry

why tel me go have foid
mind that time?
do you mind?
i had my simpson socks on
chicken oriental

I prefer frog legs
cockaleekie soup? fae a chicken?
what came first
the chicken or the leek?

your partner host is now playing illegal downloads
call the cops
you're twisting my melon man
jesus was batman

im in Bucharest we have proper police
like pc murdoch
he was nice
nice pipe
fae dundee
renegade blaster
bring the beat back
bring ma feet back
was that yer maws back
or yer da's crack

it is 00.33 here better listen close to this transmit and monitor what band do you play with is it ELASTIC BAND OF YOUR BRIEFS
to examine these concepts
requires tremendous energy
and discipline
to experience the now

you are a filthy mouthed malaka
without preconception
or belief
to allow the unkown to occur
requires clarity
for where there is clarity
there is no choice
and where there is choice there is misery
but then why should anyone listen to me?

Barcelona you are joker you are in Scotland you bloody fool
why should i speak?
for i know nothing
i know, it's on my profile.
you're really good at this

I do not look at your profile
we were speaking of belief
beliefs and conditioning
all belief possibly could be said
to be the result of some conditioning

i did look and it states Edinburgh
thus the study of history
is simply the study of ones beliefs
you still with me big man?
a psychological belief of our time is that the central nervous system

i looked and if your band is frantic chant they are goid
which feeds its impulses straight to the brain

is yiur band frantic chant
is unable to discern between the real and the vividly imagined experience
if there is even a difference
most of us believe there is
am i being clear?

i ask you question have the respect to reply
i thought we were talking about belief?
respect is a two way street kiddo

i ask is your band frantic chant
all those moments will be lost in tears in the rain
it's a fool who looks for logic in a human heart

if this is your band go drown yourself in shame, the sound is terrible as if it was mixed in a washing machine, and the singer is terrible You call that a BAND dream on

now i understand why you download illegal songs
that music would give give a headache a sore head

im sick after listening to that song
thanks for your input, are you a critic too? you must have more personalities than Broadmoor
does that mean you wont listen to my show?
i illegally downloaded a frantic chant song and played it on my last show
i want to sue me

if I ever seen that band live I would leave the club after I broke every instrument they had because they are malaka
will you take my case
will i just call the prs?
all my songs are registered with them

good people got killed here on Friday in club pity your band was not playing, at least two would be dead now
you are a very strange individual. i think i will call you john.
i like that name
i think it suits you
its my favourite name

I did not think they registered shit
oh your wit has wounded me deeply, john
go johnno go go, john o be good

lorin is my name in englis
i prefer john

who are you talking to
he could be your crime fighting alter ego
john is a nice name

who is john no
my imaginary friend
he's really nice but a bit unstable

maybe he plays in your band
he said we're shit
that wasn't very nice
maybe he needs his medication upped
Every day he stuck a feather in his arm
then on his legs
and head
i just thought he was a bit mad

I think you have wrong person
i know who my imaginary friend is, I’m not mad

where is this joh no
i spoke to him in the chat room
now he lives in my head
until i find him
then i'll keep him
for real
i love john o
donald where's yer troosers?
sorry, i like that song

is that your song
no it was johnny cash
or sydney devine
i always mix those two up

what is chat room

sori I do not understand
its a place in the hospital where i live
it has wallpaper
nice flowery wallpaper
like my nana's
johno goes there
i think he lives here too

who is this johno
he told me he got rejected from the muppets
for being too muppety
you said kiddley
naw ah diddley

what is mupets
I look ant it tv show
yeah muppet

is johno in that show
no he got rejected
johno the bawbag was too muppety

ok I kno now
what is bawbag
his muppet alter ego
he's a man of many personalities
like mike yarwood
but not as funny

he must be smart man
maybe les dennis funny
or stephan dennis funny
everybody needs good neighbours

what is his full name
has he tv show
yu mention names I know nothing
his full name is a secret only known by the irish garda fiddling division

so is he from Ireland
i dont know, he only exists in my head so has the same accent as me
mind you, i'm irish so maybe he is

my sister lives in UK is that Ireland
i dont know her
its a big island
is she undercover?
like bodie
or doyle
true professionals
or dodie and boyle
they were on STV

I think you would like to meet her
no thank you, i'm happily married to my budgie

you really would do god to meet her she will sort your head
she's called dickie
johno likes dickie
thats why he sticks feathers in his arms

go away and lern to play in band
go away?
you wanted to talk to me
dont go johno
that rhymes
i should be in a band

I only let yiu know that you don music illegal
you said you play in band
oh i forgot thats what we were talking about
i get easily distracted

I could see that in the band yes
i thought we were talking about illegal something or other
man, you get easily distracted
you should see a doctor john
dr john, now there's a man with class

i only passing time until the broadcast is finished
do you like dr john, john?
what broadcast?
i'm not listening
i'm listening to a podcast of revving bus engines

the one im listening to dumbo
i dont like disney films

that would be better than listn to your band
you cut me so deep
i thought we could be friends
me johno and johno

i do not understand
i ken that you ken that i ken that you ken that i ken, ken?

who is ken
ken dodd's dad's dog's dead
That one's for Phil

sori i do not understand ken dodd

still not understand
cmon, john
another rhyme
i'm gonna drop a rap smash hit soon

who is john
its a nicer name

my name is Sorin
not in my head

that's why i told you to contsc my sister she will sort your head
i do not want to buy your sister

she will sort your head she is not for sale you dope
no thanks, i dont do drugs either
drugs are for mugs
so are dugs
couldnae pick shite up likes

please speak englis
I'm from Uzbekistan
i am the king of Siam
i am

yu are from cloud cuckku
Monkey used to fly about on a cloud
remember him?
his pal was pigsy
monkey is funky
Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd.
Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd.
do you like that song?

the broadcast is finite, so i will review my report thank you for the fun
dont go
lets write a song together
we could call it heavy delusions

i do not know writing
but winter is biting
there you go, the first two lines

may your friend johno could help
that's why i'm asking you
next two lines.....
john sits on his own
cos his arse wont stop shiting
might need a little work

yu are vulgar
paint a vulgar picture
that's my favourite smiths song
i touched you at the soundcheck
i was a kid from those ugly new houses

what is smiths

typical of Scottish people to be vuggar
that's racist
i think i'm going to have to report you, john

what is racist
you john

report all you prefer
do you want my addres
no i dont want to buy your sister
ive told you already
Tripitaka says i shouldn't speak to you

Sorin Christea. Ron Ionescu 25, Bl. M66, Sc. 2, Et. 7, Ap. 36, 041424, Bucuresti, Sector 4.
report all you like now you have address
I've met a Hungarian before

you have my address i done no harm

yiu think you are smart
i do not understand, i am from sweden
or austria
g'day mate
that one's for big jimmy c
angels with dirty faces
no the song
that's jimmy p
the film
wi the bash street kids
plg n that
thats short for plug
in spanish
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
all day long
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
all day long
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
all day long
all day long
all day long
all day long
all day long
all day long
all day long
all day long
middle 8
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
the wheels on my house go round and round round and round
all day long
all day long
all day long
all fucking dayy long
daniel o donnell
he's a bit shite eh?
Donny o johniel

is there something wrong with your head
monkey is funky and so is his flunky
ive got a funky monkey

yes and foul mouth
i dont eat chicken
it tastes like chicken

go away and down music for your show just like you do always
could be the chorus for our song
sleep on it
dont be quick to judge
what do you think?
I'm on the nightshift
who sang that?
i might download it
from itunes
have you got any stephen fry tunes i could borrow?
I'll send them back to you, so it's not like stealing
home taping never killed music
mtv did
they have blood on their hands
and lots of money
how ye fixed johno mate?
just a ten spot til i get my giro
daniel o donnell
John o daniel
dan o johniel
johno donniel
john o donnell
is there anybody in there?
just nod if you can hear me
i can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
and miles
rippity rippity ripped
saucy jack
none more black
big bottoms
Johnny, we're sorry, won't you come on home, we're worried, won't you come on home
what is wrong in my life that i must get drunk every night
I hAtEwHeN FoLk wRiTe lIKe ThIs
do you john?
john john john, you'll miss me when i'm gone
The john johnnie, lives on his back
the john johnnie, loves chimney stacks
he's outrageous, he screams and he bawls
john johnnie let yourself go
anybody ever tell you that you're a bit weird?
I'm away
only joking
i'm no away
i am now though
i was but i had to type that last bit
i'm away now
i'll try running past my laptop
wait the now
anyway, lovely chatting to you. speak soon
goodnight and dont let the bedcunts bite
sorry predictive text